Sometimes I feel like my life is lived like a candle ~ well, rather more like a tealight. For a while I’m burning strong – ideas flow – studio work and painting flows…full of energy. Life chores get done, words come readily, optimism reigns.
Then I weaken a bit; my ideas can get muddled – I feel overwhelmed and unsure about what to tackle. My flame fizzles – sometimes it goes out….temporarily.
These stretches can feel a little dismal ~ like a string of gray days that drop from the sky – hit me at eyebrow level and won’t lift. Fog, low energy…what next? One remedy that works for me is to cook something ~ with ingredients ~ and a recipe ~ used as a guide. The recent favorite was the lovely comforting dish, Smothered Onions with Pasta, from Marcella Hazen’s Essential Italian Classics cookbook, my copy, full of notes…given to me by a dear friend years ago. It’s not difficult, but it takes time. Hands on – physical – there is decisive preparation required ~ thoughtfulness and creativity allowed ~ and a satisfying result…to share and eat with my family. Energy put forth – energy shared. Release.
Human nature is a funny, strange animal. Intellectually, I understand that my path is mostly about process – but I also have a need to say” it’s finished.” To have momentary success or to complete a project grounds me. I can’t just float in a constant state of process.
Faced with a sense of dual reality ~ a strange result is to feel some success in what I’m trying to do. I’m happy with my finished painting, but a day or two later, I find myself at the beginning again. One may be “finished,” another well on the way…I’m beginning to get there, only to find the end is the beginning. It is constant discovery.
So, yes, work is getting done…lots of work.
“Eyes wide open always hoping for the sun.” (Norah Jones)
I’m still on the journey of painting for my Namibian Portfolio project. Thanks to those supporters that joined the project last June, (I’m actively looking for the exhibit space and working hard to finish your paintings !) and thanks to those who are interested and reading now.
Let me know if you are interested in my work or have comments or questions.
e-mail: firstname.lastname@example.org Tel: 206.329.4750 Follow me on Facebook